Fall jokes
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.