Faith jokes

Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.

God: *SILENCE*

Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!

God: *SILENCE*

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?

Faithbook!

I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?

The nun has a soul full of hope...

Why did God make the devils die?

God is great!

Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.

Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?

Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why can Jesus walk on water?

Because rubbish floats.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.

God is good. God is great.

I once put the Bible in the fiction section.

Religion

Why did the sun go to church?

Because it needs Jesus.