Failure jokes
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Cleveland Browns
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.