Failure jokes
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
I will tell you a joke--your life.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.
I guess I failed.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.