Failure jokes
If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
Why did the gym close down?
Because it just didn't work out.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
I tried to catch fog today. I mist.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
Your life. That's all.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
I will tell you a joke--your life.