Face Jokes

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.

Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"

The girl says, "Just like your face."

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

"It's a purple face!" says Yellow Face.

"Oh! Racist!" says Purple Face.

Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Should I do a face reveal?

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.