When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
How do you see past that forehead?
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
I like my clocks like I like people
Under 12
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What do u call a man with out a body and a nose
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
