What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.
Toilet paper: Ya, right.
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
Ching chong kading dong.
(My best words ever used).
Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!
Your life is the best joke ever.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!
“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
You, I didn’t see you there. The pizza place is hunted bad, so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma, and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁. The end or is it bye-bye?
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
