Evers jokes

Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

No.

Neither has he.

Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.

Toilet paper: Ya, right.

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Whatever it is, I kind of like it.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Ever heard of the currency TNT?

All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.

I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!

Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Ching chong kading dong.

(My best words ever used).

Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!

Your life is the best joke ever.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.