Evers jokes

Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.

Toilet paper: Ya, right.

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.

Ever heard of the currency TNT?

All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!

You know what's REALLY "Ironic"?

Answer:

These REALLY ARE the "Worst Jokes" I've ever heard!

Whatever it is, I kind of like it.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Have you ever heard of the eye tear?

Me either.

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.

I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!

Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!

Ching chong kading dong.

(My best words ever used).

Your life is the best joke ever.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

What's the grossest thing ever?

A bag of dead babies.

What's even more gross?

The bottom one is still wriggling!