Evers jokes

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.

I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!

Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

Ching chong kading dong.

(My best words ever used).

Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!

Your life is the best joke ever.

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

What's the grossest thing ever?

A bag of dead babies.

What's even more gross?

The bottom one is still wriggling!

You, I didn’t see you there. The pizza place is hunted bad, so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma, and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁. The end or is it bye-bye?

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."

The doctor says, "Next, please."

Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)

If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

Best website ever 4 chair.

What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?

"Polly want a quacker!"

Worst joke ever.

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

What's the worst joke you ever heard?