Evers jokes

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.

Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.

Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.

Best website ever 4 chair.

Why are these jokes bad?

They're literally the worst jokes ever.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

What did the mama nut say to her son?

“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”

Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.

Toilet paper: Ya, right.

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.

Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?

But that's just my opinion.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.