Ethics jokes

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

Why did the blind woman get raped?

Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

Because dead babies make the best cum.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

On a desk in pure isolation.

The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?