Ethics jokes

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.

If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

Why did the blind woman get raped?

Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

Because dead babies make the best cum.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

On a desk in pure isolation.

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."