Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
Racism.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
