Entertainment jokes
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Doctor Who."
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."