A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
What's an Emo's least favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
