Entertainment jokes

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”

Person 2: “Seven.”

Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”

Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”

(Based on an encounter I had recently)

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?

NOTHING!

What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?

Coldemort!

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

What do you call an emo friend group?

The Suicide Squad.

"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.