Entertainment jokes
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
I play Fortnite, but also I play Minecraft for 14 nights.
I'm Pickle Rick!
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
I'm bored. Anybody wanna chat?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.