Employment jokes

I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.

Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

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A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.

Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to his job at KFC!

When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

Your job still sucks.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"