I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.