Emotion jokes
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?
A trash can doesn't rage.
I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(
Me when I go crazy :
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself…
A piece of cake.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.