Emotion jokes

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.

Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.

School shooting: Happens.

Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.

American Student: "First time?"

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.

Hehe.

Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.

Depression sucks, and so do you.

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"