Emo Jokes

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?

They are both hung.

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Did the tree high five the emos?

No, he just left them hanging.

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

Why do orphans like emos?

Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.

How do emos like their meat cooked?

Medium rawr.

How do emo bands prepare for their shows?

They self-harmonize.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

What do you call an emo with curly hair?

Sam Reid.

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.