Either jokes

Why did Dad Man quit acting?

I don’t know either.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.

Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?

Because he didn't land either.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.