My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
Either Jokes
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
