Education jokes
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isnβt working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesnβt beat her old primary school one. π
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
my teacher with every one for no reason
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canβt say you werenβt warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, cβmon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think youβre dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad youβre standing alone.
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. π
Iβm happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."