Education jokes

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.

Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?

Be there or B2.

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.