Education jokes

Why can’t orphans go to college?

'Cause they have no one to talk to.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

Why was six so scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

I got an F in science. F stands for Fantastic!

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Why did the orphan misbehave in school?

Because the principal couldn't call their parents.

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."