Education jokes

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Why did the girl bring the ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.

Why don't teachers give orphans homework? Because they can't go home...

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

Never mind, it's pointless.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Teacher: We are going to Seville.

Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!

Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.

Omg thanks for 1000 likes!

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

'Cause he wanted higher grades.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.