Education jokes

Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!

"I don't want to go on my at-home history."

- My friend, anon 2019.

Q: What's yellow and can't swim?

A: A school bus full of children.

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

Yo mama so stupid.

When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

School's being safe.

School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.

I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it has many problems.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

I know 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why.

Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?

That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Why do orphans love school?

'Cause people actually come back.