Education jokes
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Memes
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
Yo mama so stupid.
When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it has many problems.
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
I know 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”