Education jokes
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
You can't give an orphan homework.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
Maths...
....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school? So they can reach the top of the desk.
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"