Education jokes

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

I know 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why.

Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?

That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Why do orphans love school?

'Cause people actually come back.

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

Why do gay people get bad grades?

Because they don't get straight A's.

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.

Can teachers give homework to orphans?

Why are orphans always at school?

'Cause they can't be homeschooled.

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

Teacher: Why?

Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.