Education jokes

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

Why was the math book sad at the rapper?

Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.

Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

He was a head of his class... Mom always says, "Stay ahead!"

What is the difference between a human and walk home from school and walk home?

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from school?

What is the difference between a tree and walk walk home and walk walk home from school?

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 ate 9!

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.

I love the letters of the alphabet.

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

What is 9+9? 18.

What is 9+10? 19.

What is 9+11? -2996.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Why do orphans love school?

'Cause people actually come back.