Education jokes
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
InTrEsT
Why do orphans love school?
'Cause people actually come back.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
I love the letters of the alphabet.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!