Education jokes
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
At school, I love to have fun!
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
I for the class?
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
What do you call a notorious special needs student with an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Why can't orphans go to school?
They don't have a home to go to.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.