Education jokes

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.

How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

My mom picked my major.

What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

School: Nova corps gun academy.

Location: Wyoming mountains.

Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?

Because he was good with bars and beats.

Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?

Because it couldn't count the bars!

Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.

One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.

The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"

Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"