Education jokes

I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.

I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!

Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?

Because there are too many Cheetahs!

2 times 4 equals 18?

Why are my students so naughty?

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

Why can't orphans go to school?

They don't have a home to go to.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

How do bees go to school?

They go on a school buzz.