Education jokes

I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

My mom picked my major.

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?

Dumb Kid: DEADit?

Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!

Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!

Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.

Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."

Dear math,

Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.

Thanks.

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.

Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.

Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!

Teacher: NANI!?!?

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

A letter to all Math:

Dear Math,

Grow up and solve your own problems!

2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.