Education jokes

What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊

Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

Student one orphan: I don't have any.

Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

Student one orphan: What!

Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.

When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.

An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

Like if you are in high school and miss school!

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To improve his FLOW-CULUS.

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.

Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.

We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.

Where do Eagles send their children to study?

The Alpha birds.

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.