Eating jokes
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Memes
Why is this true?
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.