Eating jokes
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.