Eating jokes

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

What does Mars like to eat?

A Mars bar!

Where do depressed people go to eat?

Suicide Sonic.

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"

New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!

Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.

The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"

He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."

They eat them, jump off, and die.

He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"

What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.

I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

Where do cows eat lunch?

In the calfeteria, dumb butt!

Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.