Eating jokes
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Memes
It's true though
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.