* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
Eating Jokes
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Relatable
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bay.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
