Eating jokes
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Orphans will eat toes for food.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?
The MIC Donald's drive-thru.
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.