I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables
Why do Asians excel at math? Because their dog can never eat their homework
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast
10 years ago my dad said i should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... i still eat cereal with water sadly
Bf:Hey what ya doing?
Gf:just lying in bed
Bf:just lying in bed?
Gf:and eating cereal
Bf:Ha nice,what would you do if i was in bed next to you...?
Gf:eat my cereal
Bf:i mean if the cereal wasnt there
Gf:id get out of bed and get more cereal
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating? They like to bone a petite
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bay
knock knock. who's there? artichokes. artichokes who? artichokes when he eats to fast.
What does a Male Asian P*rnstar like to say? "I love eating cat"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12 year old nuts
Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂
Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they ́d crack each other up
Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
*I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.― Steven Wright
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Teacher, there is 3 birds 1 gets shot how many are left.
Student, non they flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, acautly 2 but i like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there is 3 women eating ice cream 1 licking it 1 drinking it melted and 1 sucking it which one is married.
Teacher,the one sucking it?
Student, no the one with the ring but i like the way you think.
The teacher said made the kids guess what a random word was and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier. Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, “I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!”
So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
