Eating jokes
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!