What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut
Babies are healthier
The teacher said made the kids guess what a random word was and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier. Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, “I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!”
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey
One morning peppy and George came downstairs for Breckfast but they got a plate of juicy bacon there dad had recently gone missing so they ate it quite sadly the next morning they went to school and asked their teacher what is bacon made out of the teacher replied “pigs why?”peppa and George looked horrified
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so i put her in the oven
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa
Why do feminists eat so much pussy? to get the taste of dick out of their mouths does it cycle now you stupid bitches
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die. But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I wont die because the potato is already dead and cant attack my immune system.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
[being buried alive]
murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
What food does a cheetah eat? Fast food
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
