Eating jokes
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Memes
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.