Eating jokes
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
I eat ass.
What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?
Putting the diaper back on.
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
Have you tried eating a clock?
It's time-consuming!
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.