Dying jokes
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
I don't want to die.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice