Dying jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
My grandpa died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
Man dies.