Dying jokes

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

Why do they have fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.

An emo girl dyed her hair red.

Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to be there.

As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

"It was just a prank bro."

If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

Nessie is dying.

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.