Dying jokes

Word

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Dye

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

Memes

Doctor

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."

The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"

The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."

Son

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

Empire

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

Trade

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

Plane

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

Prank

As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...

"It was just a prank bro."

Gym

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Mosquito

If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Demon

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

Cemetery

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"

Age

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.