Dying jokes
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
Roses are red, violets are violet,
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.