Dying jokes
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
You die. LOL!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?