Dying Jokes

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?

I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...

she died the next morning

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby i have in my basement. Jesus died a virgin

(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing)

Man: Ah.. suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore..

Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous",

I'm dying to live forever !

Stephen Hawkings just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?

My dad died the other day but, i was able to hear his last words"son are you still holding the ladder"

My grandfather died in 9/11.

He was a great pilot

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

how did the gay girl die? homocide

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

Roses are red violets are violet My grandad died in 9/11 He was a good pilot

The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

racecar backwards is racecar but racecar sideways is how paul walker died

my friend died from an allergic reaction.he gave me an EpiPen while he was dying so now i have something to remember him from.

Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died... His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...