Dying jokes
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."