Dying jokes
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his 4G ran out!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.