A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What can a duck eat for a snack saltine quackers.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What do you call a chicken that was cared? A tendered chicken
How do you fuvk a duck? Usually duck a fuck
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Why did the qack go duck?
I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8
I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Why did the duck cross over the cave? Because he wasn't a chicken.
IDK sorry...
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
Whats the difference between a duck?
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt because he wanted it to smell good
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
