Duck jokes
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Why did the qack go duck?
I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8