how do ducks fart out there butt quack
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road because he wasn’t chicken
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
Why did the little girl cry twice? Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
duck!! where??
what do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs.... A QUACK HEAD!!!! My mom must be a duck then....
a guy saw a person with a duck and said "where did you get a pig" the owner replied "its not a pig dummy" the random guy said "i wasn't talking to you,i was talking to the duck"
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How bout you duck on down and get yourself some
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
