What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
Downing Jokes
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
What goes up but doesn't come down?
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
Why did the toilet paper get to the bottom of the hill?
Because he went down the drain! - it's a bad joke, lmao.
