Downing jokes
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What did Katie say when her house burnt down?
"HOLY SMOKES!"
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
The twins are falling down.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.