Downing jokes

If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

What goes up but doesn't come down?

Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

What goes up but never comes down?

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?

If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.

Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.