Downing jokes
What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?
When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.
Autistic students are the best, hands down!
What did Katie say when her house burnt down?
"HOLY SMOKES!"
The president of a company comes in to talk to his employees. He says, "As you know, sales have been way down and many of you are not meeting your quotas. We decided to SHAKE things up a bit and introduce you to our new Vice President: Michael J. Fox."
How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 barstool?
Turn it upside down and shove a leg up each of their asses.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.
My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.
She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?
Through a special ballot.
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
My boyfriend said if I kiss him, I'll get lucky. I fell down a flight of stairs.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."