Downing jokes

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

There are people weirder looking than me.

Like who?

Like people with Down syndrome.

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Life's full of ups and downs :D <3

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.