Downing jokes
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
How do you get black kids to stop jumping off the bed?
You put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get the black kids down?
You invite the Mexicans over.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.
370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!