Dont jokes
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?
Half n' Half hehe.
Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!
Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.
Sorry not sorry -sans
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.