Dont jokes
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
"Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist."
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love